If you read the post from last Thursday, you probably remember reading that I wanted to take a weekend to spend with myself. To take some time out to reevaluate things, and find my happy place.
I'm afraid to say this... but this blog is no longer a happy place for me.
I can't pinpoint it to a single event, a comment, a post, there's just nothing that really happened.
I've kind of mentioned a few times that I struggle to come up with posts. I stress about it, about putting out a product for people to read. And sometimes I wonder what for?? If I'm no longer enjoying blogging here, then why am I doing it? If I give you motivation, that's fantastic, and I'm happy to.
But I don't feel like this blog is fulfilling for me anymore.
I think the bloggosphere is a great place, very positive, but a few rude comments to wear on you. And why would you subject yourself to that? And then there's also jealousy. Everyone wants their blog to get more readers, more comments, more followers... and I found myself caring about those things.
That's not why I started this blog. At all! I rarely compare myself to others in my daily life, I'm really happy with who I am, and all of the things I've accomplished in my life. I've worked hard to get where I am, and I refuse to let something petty like blogging make me doubt myself. I'm many things, but I'm not a jealous person. I'm a giving person, a caring person, and feeling stupid jealousy doesn't work for me.
I started this blog 2 years ago to document the amazing thing I accomplished - Losing 85 lbs. to be healthy. I've done that, and sometimes I think this blog has served it's purpose. You all see how I live my life, the struggles I face, the way I pull myself back up, the way I set a goal and push to reach it, and the way I also fail. I feel like I have nothing else to put out there.
Right now, I'm flailing. My goal was to lose 100 lbs. I've tried countless times to get myself motivated to do that. This blog, unfortunately, isn't working. I lost all of the weight prior to the blog, and in the 2 years I've had the blog, it's just fluctuated from -75 to -85.
So I think, for the time being, I'm going to put the blog on a hiatus.
I'm very happy with all of the other aspects in my life, and see them continue to grow and flourish, I don't regret a second I spent writing this blog, and I do want to keep in contact with many of you and follow you in your quest to be the person you want to be.
My cooking blog is still an integral part of my life, so you'll always be able to follow me there.
I will do one thing - I'll write one post the day I reach my goal of -100 lbs.
See ya then :)