Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Always good for a laugh...

If you're a long time Ash is Fit reader, you've heard me talk about my Marathon running dad, Half Marathon running older sister, Triathlon participant younger sister, and former Phys Ed Teacher and Volleyball/Gymnastics coach Mom.
Let's just say my parents are slightly competive.
It kind of rubbed off onto us girls. And my sister and I married somewhat competitive guys.
So this year's 100th running of the Cincinnati Thanksgiving 10k is going to be a big one.

Here are my results from last year, this year I'm shooting for <65

Every year my dad likes to pretend it's a horse race, and he emails out odds for the race.
He usually does one in the beginning of October, and another a week or two before the race.
This morning when I checked my email, sure enough, there it was.
So it's kind of long, but pretty amusing.
And my dad will be oh so happy to see his writing published on my blog.
**Note: Last year we had a problem with cheating. JJ had a bad ankle, so JJ, Dan and my mom took a bathroom break at a hotel, then turned around and walked back, completing maybe 2-3 miles. They finished about 10 minutes after me. I was bummed that they walked and were so close to me. We later found out they were liars.
We also decided to have a battle of the sexes, so the matchup at the bottom clearly shows my sisters, mom and I coming out on top!


There is a chill in the Cincinnati it must be time to announce the opening line for the Thanksgiving Day Race. This year, for the 100th running, we will have two separate competitions; the individual running and walking division and the men vs. women team division. Some training reports have made there way to headquarters and our spies are combing the country investigating the training (or lack thereof) of other competitors.

So here is the opening line:
Individual Running Division
1:50 Henry/Dad (Gray Stallion) - the Stallion remains the favorite, as in every other year. He is undefeated and determined to remain that way. However, other ponies have been training and sqawking that they will steal the crown this year. His odds have come down dramatically from last year's laughable 1:1000. The target is on his back...and he will keep the target in view of all competitors for the entire race. If you are looking to make big money, it won't happen with the odds still set high on the Stallion.

10:1 (Green) Kristine/Older Sister - this pony is training and schmacking. She promises to beat the Stallion in the Thanksgiving Preliminary (a.k.a., Towpath Half Marathon) this Sunday. If lightning strikes and she does, watch out, all hell will break out on Thanksgiving morning. This pony is looking good and has cut weight since last year's running, but apparently none in her tongue!

15:1 Rebecca/younger sister (The Maryland Turtle) (err, turtle isn't a good nickname for a race horse or one with such international experience, so we'll give her a second name - Swiss Cheese) - this pony missed last year's running as she was training (or drinking) out of the country. She is well travelled and has picked up international training. She has completed a triathalon (drinking beer, wine and moonshine in one event) which bodes well for her, but she has a knee issue which could be to her disadvantage.

16:1 Chim (Go Navy)/Uncle Jim - this horse has great determination. He has given up all of the fun in his life training for this event; smoking, drinking and eating. He has cut massive weight, training for this event and has even schmacked The Stallion. We'll see! He trains on the flat fields of Virginia Beach, so the mountains of Cincinnati may work against him. He is somwhat of an unknown but the spies are checking him more closely for a better review in our next posting.

25:1 Ashlee (I'm Fit and I have Groupies) Wetherington - this horse has made strides that none of us could ever have anticipated. She has set PR's throughout the past year and is now training in the warm environs of Jacksonville. With three dogs to chase, her fitness could improve further. A possible dark horse!

26:1 Donna/Aunt (The Gecko) - another new entry from the fields of Virginia Beach. This horse has fully recovered from a neck injury that held her out of last year's competition. She claims to run five miles, twice each day. However, she has never run outdoors or reached the six point two mile distance of this race, so her endurance could be a question mark. Like Go Navy, she too has lost weight and is looking fit for this race.

50:1 JJ/Husband (Lazy Chief) - this pony has great genes and a stellar past. However, he has taken to the couch (and cursing the Noles) in recent years. While he works as a trainer, he has not applied his skills to himself. Leg injuries make him a question mark. This pony has major potential but must first extricate himself from the couch.

Individual Walking Division
1:1 - Cindy/Mom (Oxygenated) - this pony is very nicked up but has great desire. We have all heard of altitude training; well, this pony has invented depth training. Her lastest training ploy is a bit unorthodox; she has given up the distance in exchange for training in the oxygen chamber. Only time will tell; will fresh legs prevail? If this training proves successful we are sure to see Lazy Chief and BK follow for next year's event.

1.5:1 - Dan/Brother-in-law (D Lion) - another pony with great genes. This pony is working through knee and ankle issues. Can his gimpy gate hold out for six point two seems to be the major question with this pony. We know that at 10,000 calories per day, he will have plenty of fuel to burn for this event. This pony may be a year away from making a more significant impact.

2:1 Ken/Family friend, cookbook cover photo kitchen owner (BK Couch Potato) - this pony has been saying he would start training for a whole year. He even stopped working to have time to train. Thus far, no results. His only training has been walking behind a lawn mower at church once a week; not nearly enough distance to endure six point two. Will this pony be able to get off the couch seems to be the big question.

Team Division
Match Up: Favorite

Gray Stallion vs. Green - Guys team
Go Navy vs. Swiss Miss, Turtle - Girls team
Lazy Chief vs. I'm Fit - Girls team (amazing to say it!)
D Lion vs. Gecko - Girls team
BK Couch Potato vs. Oxygenated - Girls team

Final result: Girls 4 to Guys 1

I love being on vacation so I can do such important things!
-The Stallion

Wait a second, "amazing to say it" ?!!? I'm going to kick JJ's butt.


  1. That sounds like a really fun day for your family :) I'm running my first 10k ever (pretty much the fartherest I've run EVER) on Saturday! Nervous!

  2. Your dad is funny! Nate and I are planning to run a 5K or 10K this Thanksgiving. Our first year but traditions have to start some time.

    I think this is a great family tradition.

  3. this is hilarious. I love it! wish my family was like that!

  4. Haha! That's great! :D

    I like the "I'm Fit and I have Groupies." This groupie is rooting for you!


  5. This is hilarious!! Sounds like you all are going to have a blast! :)